Don't Get Talked Into A Divorce By Your Friends

  I counsel and divorce-coach many men and women going through divorce in a year's time. One thing I hear repeatedly from many of the women I counsel is that they got talked into a divorce by well-meaning friends. I have found that some women live vicariously through a friend going through a divorce. They have a tendency to encourage others to seek legal counsel and if the truth were to be known, they themselves most likely are in a fragile marriage! Friends may not give sound advice and may secretly want to make sure that others suffer as much if not worse than they do. I see this all the time in my counseling and divorce coaching practice.

I recall a female client whose friend lied to her about her husband being gay. This so-called friend lied when she said she saw her husband and his best friend holding hands at a restaurant. My client believed this woman and found out too late that her friend hated her husband with a passion and lied. When her friend was confronted by a pastor she insisted her stories were true. When pressured for specific information she could not answer and the truth was finally exposed. Unfortunately, the damage had been done. Meanwhile my client told her friends she believed her husband was gay without checking out the facts Her friends urged her to file for divorce, which she did.

What saddens me the most about this story is that the husband loved his wife very much. She broke this man's heart, divorced him and destroyed any chance of reconciliation. She remarried soon after her divorce and later found out that the man she divorced was telling the truth all along.

When someone tries to convince you to divorce your spouse, ask yourself these questions:

Are they in a bad marriage themselves?

Are they recently divorced?

Are they separated?

Are they cheating on their partner?

Are they newlyweds?

Are they at odds with your partner?

Are they trying to set you up with one of their friends?

If the answer is yes to any of these situations, then run as fast as you can from these people. They do not, I repeat, do not have your best interest at heart. They are living through you and will possibly destroy your marriage. Find people who are neutral and will not take sides. Do lots of fact finding. Ask questions of your spouse. Many marriages have been destroyed and torn apart by gossip and lies. Many marriages can be saved if you take the time to do the research yourself. Why not give your marriage every chance it deserves to survive? Yes, every marriage has its problems but most marriages can be saved if you're willing to do the work and make it happen.

Following are some questions you should ask yourself:

1) Are you willing to try one last time to save your marriage with proper coaching and counseling?

2) Do you need guidance to learn how to save a dying marriage or end one?

3) Does your marriage need someone who can help you discover how to communicate better?

4) Are you having a difficult time forgiving your partner?

5) Do you want a divorce and need help with the next step?

There are well meaning friends, who really do care for you. Be careful with the advice they give you. It can cost you more then you will ever know. The pain of divorce can last a lifetime, make sure the advice that you receive is in your best interest. I think that couples need to look at every aspect of their divorce. What will it do to each other, your children, your families, your friends. Once the cord is cut, it's very difficult to reconnect with each other.

Going through a painful divorce can be ugly, fighting to keep a marriage from failing can be exhausting. It takes work either way, that's where I can help you. I have been doing this kind of work for over 25 years. If you need someone to talk to

We know that a lot of you might detest the sight of these crawly creatures, but not when you visit Sea life, because sea life can show you the same clawed creatures but in the most interesting and thrilling way. Of course, you have seen crabs when you were on the beach the other day, or millions of these varieties on Discovery Channel.

But have you ever had the opportunity to find all their varieties under a single roof? Or perhaps, have you been accompanied by professionals who can give you exact information on these beautiful creatures and how you can befriend them? Well, SEA LIFE is the right place where you can be accompanied by professionals who can give you all information on these awesome characters, their species and above all, it would be the most educative experience of your life!

Crabs might be your best dish on the table, but would you take up the challenge of walking up to a crab or holding it when it's alive? Probably not, because you don't know whether it would be a threat to your life, or will you be bitten. This ignorance is the very first reason why you need to visit Sea Life, because Sea Life is the only place that you can come in contact with an amazing collection of crabs and their clawed cousins!

Interesting fact about crabs you never knew!

• We all know that crabs are covered with a hard shell throughout their body and this is because they belong to the Crustaceans. You should not confuse their shell with that of a turtle because in this case you are actually seeing their skeletons outside their body. That's right, the shell is actually their skeleton, with only difference being, it is outside the body and not inside.

• You might be surprised to know that there are more than 31,000 species in the Crustaceans family including shrimps, crabs, barnacles and lobsters.

• Crabs live in salt water and breathe through their gills.

• Species of this family use 'feelers' inside the body for feeling, touching and smelling.

Crabs are divided into two categories - hermit crabs and true crabs.

Hermit crabs

Hermit crabs can be called as the new generation 'borrowing genius' because they are accustomed to finding and using a shell from another creature. This means that they actually borrow a shell from creatures around them that can protect them, as well as retain moisture within the shell. Holding moisture within the shell is important for its breathing.

True crabs

True crab's body consists of the abdomen, thorax and a head with its shell covering its head and thorax. They have five pair of legs each as powerful as it can be. A funny thing that you might have overlooked is that crabs usually walk sideways instead of moving forward. This is because their legs are so close to each other that if they move forward, they could trip among its own legs and to avoid this scenario they try to walk towards the side. This is the same strategy they use when they need to move inside water.

Crabs have an amazing diet system, a fascinating reproduction capability and an awesome defending power (much more than what you saw in the movie 300 or Brave Heart!)


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